Minutes to 12:00 p.m.

These recent days were totally exhausting for me. The points are not only around committees I’ve been taking in, The classes and subjects that have turned to be more more interesting; yet time consuming, The family with its classical problems and stories, Friendship and circles with their own patterns, or other surpises from those who happened to fill some parts of me…but also from the vivid reminiscing moments.

Actually, the other points are turning to be another memories as well. But I always find myself taking such a deepest breath while crossing this moment: reminiscing.

A friend of mine said that I regret easily; a slight regret, and I do mean it. Yes, it’s true. Though world says that regreting is somewhat indicates weakness, for me…regret is a part of an honest self-evaluation. Once u regret, u are not supposed to repeat it.

It’s a result of a learning: I fail, I do sorry for that, I’m fine, and I’ll make it up.

My world expanded day by day, minutes to minutes…

I met people with their own boldnesses. I notice they possess extremely colorful values. I saw people with arrogance, honesty, blank-direction, odd-thingies stamped on, egoism, spirits, cheapy-approachment, dominating attitude, comforts of routines, smiles, forgotten-friendship, dreams, frauds until losers…

They are around.

After all I’ve learned from previous failures, now I can capture a broad view of what I’m living in, living with, and living for..

Ask me about my priorities..back on 2 or 3 years ago, I’d probably firmly state that “I can make it balance, all arrangeable, no worries”

it reminds me with moments when I was on the top of everything. Friend, again, said that “you are the one they are pursuing to be”. Yeah, Tell me about it…A balance can only be found in proper accounting calculation, I guess. Because what you see and you know is just based on your own definition and figuring. If you can 100%-ly balance the world…then what happen with the terms of CHOICES and THE CHOSEN CHOICE?

Choose all, then you can find a balance. You wish, dear…

what you can do is just trying to be balance, say tho the world that you are a balance people while you forget to mention the further explanation: “I’m balance in ceteris paribus condition” .  A simplified statement that millions people state with high confidence, feeling like all appears to be so right for them.

“I love him”, how much does it take your whole devotion? are there another objects for you to be loved? do they get exact portions of you? we’re talking about balance here, right?

hours ago, I had 2,5 hours having such an addictive conversation with a friend studying in Australia, he was my elementary’s friend..or rival, perhaps? we were competing for almost the whole years of elementary with the case: who’s gonna get the 1st rank in the class? then he went to USA, we met again in High School, shared same class for 2 years, I went to Germany, lost contacts…and met up again through BBM. The stories rolling were not just about ‘rivalry’. There were another continuing stories which are connected to each other. Funny. But I virtually signed an agreement not to mention them that detail here…

But what happened while we were running our looong chat, we laughed for the whole chat. each silly statement, each odd moment, each battle, all…ended up with laughings and feeling of sad as well…

tiny lil’ regret.

But after 2,5 hours of blended reminiscing moments, we came to the field of a conclusion: We’ll make it up.

We fail, We do sorry for that, We’re fine, and We’ll make it up

Yes. One Unfinished Business has been clarified and waiting to be manifested by those involved.

So how about the other Unfinished Businesses?

Those who appear to be gone?

Those who appear to be intentionally gone?

Those who decided to be gone?

Those who are obviously doubt whether they should be gone?

Those who are truly gone?

Minutes to 12:00 p.m. : especially written for someone who appears to regret me, but actually not at all

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